What To Do With A Lot Of Onions

So, you've found yourself in a bit of an onion conundrum, have you? Let me tell you, I've been there. I once had a neighbor who was convinced they were growing the world's largest onion. Turns out, they were just really good at hiding the rest of the vegetable garden. Next thing I know, I'm up to my eyeballs in onions, and not the fancy, caramelized kind. No, no, these were your run-of-the-mill, make-you-cry-like-a-baby, kitchen-sink-flooders.

But fear not, dear reader! I've turned my onion overload into a culinary adventure, and now I'm here to share my wisdom with you. Because let's face it, nobody wants to be the person who cries wolf... or onion, in this case.

First Things First: The Great Onion Sort

Before you do anything else, you need to sort your onions. I mean, you wouldn't wear your Sunday best with your pajamas, would you? (Well, maybe on a Zoom call, but that's a different story.) So, grab a sharpie and start labeling. Yellow onions for cooking, red for salads, and those tiny ones? Those are for showing off at your next dinner party. "Oh, these? Just some shallots I picked up at the farmers market." Yeah, right.

Now, here's a fun fact for you. Did you know that onions were used as currency in ancient times? I know, I know, it's hard to believe that people would trade their hard-earned gold for something that makes you cry. But then again, have you seen the state of the world lately? Maybe we should bring back onion currency. At least then we'd know we were getting a fair deal.

Preserving Your Onion Treasure

Alright, so you've sorted your onions. Now what? Well, if you're anything like me, you've got more onions than a medieval plague doctor. So, let's talk preservation. The easiest way is to just stick them in a cool, dry place. But who wants easy when you can have fun easy?

Here's a little trick I learned from my grandma. Braid your onions like you would hair. Yes, you read that right. Just grab three onions, braid them together, and hang them up to dry. It's like a real-life onion crown. Just don't try to wear it. Trust me, I've made that mistake.

What To Do With Too Many Onions - National Onion Association

And here's another fun fact for you. Onions can last for up to six months if stored properly. That's longer than some of my relationships. But unlike those, onions won't leave you crying into your pillow at night. Well, not unless you cut into them, anyway.

Cooking Up a Storm

Alright, so you've sorted and preserved your onions. Now it's time to put them to good use. And no, I don't mean using them as bowling balls. Although, if you've got a particularly large one, I won't judge.

Let's start with the basics. Onions are the backbone of so many dishes, it's ridiculous. Sauté them, caramelize them, roast them, grill them - the possibilities are endless. And if you're feeling fancy, you can even make onion rings. Just don't tell your cardiologist. Or your waistline.

But here's where things get interesting. Did you know that onions can be used to make ink? I know, right? Talk about a hidden talent. You can even make your own at home. Just mix some onion juice with a bit of iron and voila! Onion ink. Perfect for writing secret love letters... or grocery lists. Your call.

What To Do With Lots Of Leftover Onions at Willie Harrison blog

And here's another little trick. If you're having trouble getting your onions to caramelize, try adding a pinch of baking soda. It helps to break down the sugars and speeds up the process. Just don't add too much, or you'll end up with onion candy. Which, let's be honest, doesn't sound half bad.

When All Else Fails: The Onion Challenge

Alright, so you've cooked, you've preserved, and you're still drowning in onions. What's a person to do? Well, my friend, it's time to get creative. And by creative, I mean slightly ridiculous.

Introducing: The Onion Challenge. It's like the ice bucket challenge, but with more tears and less freezing. The rules are simple. You take an onion, you cut into it, and you film your reaction. It's a guaranteed laugh, and a great way to use up some of those pesky onions. Just don't blame me if your friends start avoiding your calls.

And there you have it. My guide to surviving an onion overload. Remember, folks, there's no such thing as too many onions. There's just not enough time to use them all. So, get cooking, get preserving, and for goodness' sake, stop crying. It's just an onion.