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How To Have Sex In The Tub

Alright, let's dive in, shall we? We're talking about sex in the tub, a topic that's as old as the Roman baths and as modern as your last Netflix binge. It's like the ultimate multitasking - you're cleaning up and getting down all at once. Who needs a boring shower when you can have a splash-tacular time in the tub?

Safety First, Fun Second

Before we get to the fun stuff, let's talk safety. The tub can be a slippery slope, literally. So, grab a non-slip mat, the kind your grandma uses. You don't want to be doing the splits on the cold, hard floor mid-romp. Also, keep the water level low. You're not trying to recreate the Titanic here, just a little aquatic action.

And listen, don't go all "Jack and Rose" in the tub. The water might be hot, but your body's not a candle. No wax play in the tub, folks. Trust me, the cleanup is a nightmare, and you'll be singing "I'm the king of the world" alone in the ER.

Tub Prep: The Foreplay

Now that we've got the safety talk out of the way, let's set the mood. Dim the lights, light some candles (keep them away from the water, please!), and put on some tunes. You're not trying to conduct an orchestra here, just set a sexy vibe.

Next, let's talk bubbles. Bath bombs are not just for your solo self-care nights. They're fun, they smell amazing, and they'll make you feel like you're in a fancy spa. Just remember, no eating the bath bombs. They're not gummy bears, no matter how much they look like them.

Positioning is Key

Now, let's talk positions. The tub is not the Kama Sutra's best friend, but there are a few moves that work like a charm. The classic is the "Spooning in the Tub". It's like your regular spooning, but wetter. And yes, you can still use lube. Water might be wet, but it's not a lubricant.

5 Unfortunate Things That Can Happen When You Have Sex in a Hot Tub5 Unfortunate Things That Can Happen When You Have Sex in a Hot Tub

Another favorite is the "Face to Face". It's like the cowgirl position, but in the tub. It's a bit tricky, but with some practice, you'll be riding the waves like a pro. Just remember, no sudden movements. You don't want to end up with a concussion from banging your head on the faucet.

Cleanup on Aisle Three

Alright, the fun's over, now it's time for the not-so-fun part: cleanup. First, drain the tub. You don't want to be cleaning up in a tub full of water. That's like trying to clean a pool with a sponge.

Next, give the tub a good scrub. You're not just cleaning the tub, you're cleaning up your love nest. Use a cleaner that's tough on stains but gentle on your skin. You don't want to be scrubbing with something that'll leave you red and raw.

How to have sex in the tub | Chill in a sexy way | DUSKHow to have sex in the tub | Chill in a sexy way | DUSK

And finally, don't forget to clean yourself up. A quick shower should do the trick. You're not trying to wash off the evidence, you're just cleaning up. There's no need to scrub like you're trying to get out a tattoo.

Post-Tub Glow

Now that you're all cleaned up, it's time to relax. Put on some comfy clothes, order some takeout, and enjoy your post-coital glow. You've earned it. Just remember, no matter how good you feel, don't go for round two in the tub. Your body needs a break, and your tub needs a good cleaning.

So there you have it, folks. Sex in the tub can be fun, safe, and cleaning up doesn't have to be a chore. Just remember, safety first, fun second, and always, always clean up after yourself. Your future self will thank you.