He Was Whipping Up Shit In A Kettle

So, there I was, minding my own business, scrolling through my social media feed, when I stumbled upon this guy, let's call him 'Kettle Kevin', whipping up a storm in his kitchen. Now, when I say 'whipping up a storm', I don't mean your average, run-of-the-mill cooking. No, no, no. This guy was literally whipping up shit in a kettle.

I know, I know, you're thinking, "What on earth is this guy talking about?" Well, let me tell you, dear reader, Kettle Kevin was brewing his own compost tea, and it was a sight to behold. Now, before you go wrinkling your nose and scrolling away, hear me out. This isn't your grandma's chamomile. This is a whole different ball game.

What the Heck is Compost Tea?

Alright, so imagine you've got a big ol' pile of compost sitting in your backyard. You know, the stuff you've been diligently collecting from your kitchen scraps and garden waste. Now, instead of just spreading that golden goodness onto your plants, Kettle Kevin here decided to give it a little... boost.

He figured, why not steep that compost like you would a cup of tea? So, he chucked a heap of it into a big ol' kettle, filled it with water, and let it brew. And brew. And brew some more. Until he had a steaming pot of nutrient-rich liquid that he could feed to his plants.

But Why Though?

Well, my curious friend, it turns out that compost tea is packed with beneficial bacteria, fungi, and nutrients that plants just love. It's like giving your plants a supercharged multivitamin. Plus, it's a great way to recycle those kitchen scraps and garden waste, turning them into something useful instead of just letting them rot in a landfill.

Now, I'm not saying you should go running to your kitchen right now and start brewing up a storm in your kettle. But if you've got a green thumb and you're looking for a way to give your plants a little extra TLC, it might be worth a shot. Just remember, this isn't your average cup of joe. It's a bit... earthier.

So, How Do You Make This Magic Potion?

Alright, so you've decided you want to give this compost tea thing a try. First things first, you're going to need a big ol' kettle. Not the fancy one you use for your morning coffee, mind you. This is a job for the biggest, sturdiest kettle you've got.

Next up, you're going to need some compost. The fresher, the better. You don't want anything that's been sitting around for too long. Then, you're going to fill your kettle about three-quarters of the way with water and bring it to a boil.

HMP PRISON COOKING IN A KETTLE #hmp #rtm #rtmpodcast #youngspray #

Once your water's boiling, you're going to turn off the heat and chuck in your compost. The general rule of thumb is about one part compost to five parts water. So, if you've got a big ol' kettle, you're going to need a lot of compost.

Now, here's where things get a little... funky. You're going to let your compost steep in the water for about a week. That's right, a whole week. You'll want to give it a good stir every day to make sure everything's mixing up nicely.

After a week, you're going to strain your compost tea through a fine mesh sieve or cheesecloth to get rid of any big chunks. And voila! You've got yourself a pot of liquid gold, ready to give your plants a boost.

But What About the Smell?

Alright, I know what you're thinking. "This sounds great and all, but what about the smell?" Well, my friend, you're not wrong. Compost tea isn't exactly known for its... fragrance. But fear not! There are a few things you can do to keep the stench at bay.

First off, make sure you're using fresh compost. The fresher it is, the less it's going to smell. You can also try adding a little bit of molasses to your compost tea. Not only does it give your plants a little extra sugar, but it also helps to cut down on the smell.

Did you SHIT in my Kettle?? - 9GAG

And if all else fails, you can always brew your compost tea outside. That way, you won't have to worry about the smell wafting through your house. Just make sure you're keeping an eye on it, especially if you live in an area with a lot of critters. The last thing you want is a squirrel or a raccoon helping itself to your precious compost tea.

So, Should You Try It?

Well, that depends. If you're the type of person who likes to get their hands dirty and experiment with new ways to care for their plants, then absolutely! Compost tea is a great way to give your plants a little extra love and care, all while recycling your kitchen scraps and garden waste.

But if you're the type of person who prefers their plants to stay nice and neat, and you're not too keen on the idea of brewing up a pot of... well, shit, then maybe this isn't the hobby for you. And that's okay! There are plenty of other ways to care for your plants. You could try your hand at hydroponics, or maybe even just stick to good old-fashioned soil.

At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you're enjoying yourself and taking care of your plants in a way that works for you. So, whether you're whipping up a storm in a kettle or just watering your plants with a regular old watering can, as long as you're having fun and your plants are thriving, that's all that matters.

And who knows? Maybe one day, you'll find yourself with a green thumb and a whole new appreciation for the power of... well, shit. Until then, happy gardening, my friend!